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Posts Tagged ‘college’

Tip of the week… How to combat loneliness: body pillows.

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On the way to Ellen’s house last weekend, I heard someone across the street say, “Someone just invited me to a party at my own house and I had no idea who they were.”

I live in a college town.

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At the checkout counter, a middle-school-aged kid started helping the old woman in front of him in line get her things out of the cart onto the conveyor belt. She smiled and said thank you. She had hearing aids bigger than her ears.

The middle-schooler’s friend said to him, “Well aren’t you nice.”

He responded, “I always help out wrinkly old bitches cuz it was a wrinkly old bitch dat brought me into dis world.”

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bottles  840

Sunday morning, lying on a cushion, the cat dreams in silence like a cat knows how to do.

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I read a study where scientists played music for apes to see their reactions, anything from Pachelbel’s Cannon to Cat Stevens, from Swiss mountain music to German house.  All of the music turned up no results. It was all just noise to the apes. Except one. The only music that had any reaction nearly put the apes to sleep. They calmed, and made their way onto their backs. What were these serene melodies? Metallica. Metallica to apes is like Enya.

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I used to listen to a college radio station that played jazz late nights. The DJ on at midnight had a raspy voice that sounded like too much second-hand-smoke in lounge after lounge. At the end of each show, as I pulled up to my house to some much needed rest, his sign off was this, “If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep… Count Basie.”

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Triple Shot.

typewriter  736Earlier today, I sat at a table at the café right down the street.  At the table next to me a mother was reading the newspaper as her daughter, I’d age her at about six, was swinging her legs, kicking her mom’s chair.  Her mom didn’t react.  The girl said, “Mommy, what is air made of?” Without looking up, the mother said, “Nitrogen and Oxygen,” and the girl stopped kicking mommy’s chair.

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I worked in a tea house with a decent sound system in the center of campus in college and my favorite thing to do was early Monday morning, I’d play Carmina Burana as loud as it would go.

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I wonder if this ever happens:

“Honey, does this dress make me look fat?”

“Yes.  That dress makes you look fat.”

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