Posts Tagged ‘russia’

I once dated a girl who compulsively counted stairs.  You couldn’t talk to her while going up or down, she was counting.  She hated the third floor of my four floor walk up apartment because it was the only flight with an uneven number of stairs.  What I want to know: WHAT ARE THEY HIDING IN THE EXTRA STAIR??!?!?!


My brother confided in me that he would go gay for Justin Timberlake and or Matt Damon.  I am now posting it on the internet.  


I tell people I have two favorite movies: Russian Ark, a 95 minute artsy russian romp through the Hermitage museum in St. Petersburg that takes place in one single shot and covers all of Russian history…  that, and Troy.

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We were piled three high on the sleeper train, six in a cabin.  The Russian up top went to bed right away and the Italian and the Argentinean couple went to go have some snacks in car number eight.  This left me with the lights off with the Ukrainian man.  

Him :  Are you French?

Me :  No.

Him :  British?

Me :  No.  American.

Him :  American, eh?  I visited Los Angeles.  The women were alright.

Me :  Yes, the women are alright.

Him :  Do you know what the say about Genoa?

Me :  They say lots of things, I imagine.

Him :  They say it has the most beautiful beaches in the world in Genoa, that the water is always warm and refreshing in Genoa and that the lemons are always ripe.

Me :  People say everything and nothing about most places.

The train had followed the coast and our window had a constant horizon, blue and more blue during the day but it was dark now and the moon bounced off the Mediterranean.  I took a sip of water through a provided plastic straw and he put his hand over his mouth to cover a wide smile.  

Him :  In Genoa, there are the most beautiful women.

Me :  They say that about most places and I still haven’t seen them.

Him :  Yes.  But in Genoa, they say you can call anyone any time during the night and they’ll answer.

Me :  What?

Him :  It could be three a.m. and if you want to talk to someone on the phone, you can just go right ahead and call.

Me :  Any time of day?

Him :  You just dial the number.

Me :  Sounds like heaven, Genoa.

Him :  Heaven indeed.

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True fact : In Paris, all toilets are made of solid gold.


Every time she sees some kid’s balloon floating up high, up above the rooftops, up up into the sky, she thinks “Shit!  My balloon!”


Do this with me quick.  I am going to write 10 countries and you write down the first person from that country that comes to mind.  Try not to think about it too much.  Example:  Italy – Dante.  Got it?  Okay, go!  

1.  USA                                 6.  Mexico

2.  Spain                               7.  Russia 

3.  France                             8.  China

4.  Canada                            9.  Japan

5.  Germany                         10.  India

Check out the comments for my answers and conclusion.

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